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I haven't been able to be on my own computer for a while!! 

Mike is gone.  I just snapped on him one day and he said I can't take you yelling at me all the time and started packing his stuff.  I told him good.  Get the fuck out of my house.  And he did.  That was one week ago today!!  I feel not so down.  It's kind of nice not to have an extra child around. 

Anyways...

I am renting a house now instead of an apartment.  It is a crappy old house, but it fits me and Lucas just fine.  It has two bedrooms and a washer and a dryer!!  No more having to load my laundry and drag it around to get it done!!  I also have a big backyard!!  I can't wait for better weather and to get out there and get things planted and the toys arranged.

I have also started back to work in January.  I'm only working part time, but the pay is enough.  Night shift of course again, but hey it's ok,  it's my favorite shift!  I bit the bullet and went to Arbor Court.  It is not as bad as everyone said it was.  Quite frankly I like it better than the other place I worked as a CNA. 

More to come!

this town is idk so boring and there is absolutely nothing here for young people.  ooohhh wait we got a movie theater with not one but two screens.  whoop-dee-do!!  there are hardly any jobs

well life kinda sux.  i feel like such a freakin zombie.  i'm on maybe 4 hours of sleep a day and then on my days off i sleep all day and don't get the things done that i wanted to.  i finally got a kitchen table!!  woot woot!!  we ate our first meal at it tonight!!  mac n cheese n smokies!!  yeah i know nothing too fancy, but hey, i've got to work 2nite.  things are going......well they are going with the bf.   thats about all i can allude to. 

lucas is such  a little man right now.  kelly took him to get his hair cut and he is soooo adorable right now.  she also got him a hat, a stocking hat.  it's john deere green with yellow embroidery that says keepin' it rural.  he looks so cute in it!!!  other than that not much new.  burnt out on work and life

yea and i think things are going ok with mike.  i love him.  :D  yea i'm a tard.  lol but sometimes i feel like grrrr.... you know.   i can't predict his moodswings.  and sometimes they are worse than mine.  but he usually doesn't have them.  he says things about the future that i just can't be mad at him for.  LOVE.  LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE him when talks like that.  and when he talks in his little irish accent

so i got my student loans.  whoot whoot.  right.  and i got all my bills caught up.  whoot whoot again.  had enough left over to upgrade to a new desktop.  ok, so it's a cheap one from wal mart., but hey it runs a hell of a lot faster than the old compy.  it even has a flat panel screen.  everything is so freakin clear!!! it runs really fast in comparison too!!! 

omg so i was at the grocery store today with biggie and of course we were getting groceries i said the funniest fucking thing!!!  straight face and serious i said "we need sugar because we eat a lot of kool-aid"  biggie just about lost it and when i realized what the hell i had said i just started cracking up!!!

What's your inner spirit?

Dragon You feel free. Your loyal to your friends and family and you stick up for them whenever trouble comes about.

How do you compare? Take this test! | Tests from Testriffic</font>

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so i can't fucking spell for shit tonight!!!  and again i'm bored off me ass!!  hopefully idk

LOSER!!!!!

boredom!!!!!!

god it sucks i tried to play one of those downloadable games from yahoo on my computer and (this is how much my compy sucks)  i couldn't even play it!  bastards!!  this piece of shit!!!

school's ok.  i'm adjusting.

oh yea i found my zombie story.  note to self get working on it.  lol. 

still bored.  don't know what to do.  one hour and nap time is over :(  oh i tried to make home made mac n cheese.  yea it was ok. lucas ate it up!!!  it would have been better with cheddar instead of colby jack

what is the best cure for boredom when you have a shitty ass computer nothing on tv and it's early??  i know many things, but none of which will happen.  ha ha ha.

so i think i'm gonna take over the world!!!  mwah ha ha!!!  and get a mini-me!!!  and a LASER!!!!  no i haven't watched austin powers lately but it's back in my head somewhere. 

i think my kid is trying to kill himself!!  he's been trying to fly!!

ok so i started school this week and it's going great!!  i can go to class in the middle of the night if i want to!!  so old threshers is like next week and i'm volunteering for it- not quite sure what the heck i'm going to be doing, but hey it should be kinda fun at least i won't have to pay to get in this year...grrrrr...

so now i'm like drawing a complete blank.  my brain just uber farted!!!  ha ha ha

so like yesterday we went and hung out with jessi.  i took david a 6 pack of mt dew so he wouldn't be too pissed that we just kinda showed up.  anyways so i finally watched boondock saints-- freakin awesome movie, lots of violence and hot guys with guns. sighs.  nothing better than hot guys with irish accents packing heat!! YUMMY!!!!!!!!!!! MUCH!!!!

then there was some gh3 playage.  got my ass kicked.  but it was fun.

last we watched final fantasy 7 advent children- not one i would have picked out on my own but it was good- didn't know exactly what was going on but it was cool.  i've been watching a hell of a lot more anime these days.  it's good i don't know why i never liked it. 

good night

these guys are awesome!!! when i was living with my aunt we listened to them whenever we had to drive anywhere and it made the trip frickin sweet.

ahh so wtf is up with my fucking life????

it fucking sucks so fucking bad!!!

can i ever find someone who won't fucking play me??

well the one guy who didn't i don't fucking love.

so what am i to fucking do??

sit on my fat fucking ass until mr fucking right comes along???

oh well i'm gonna fucking be here a fucking while then aren't i?!!

SO THE OTHER NIGHT I STARTED WRITING OUT MY ZOMBIE PLAN. IT TAKES PLACE IN THE OH SO DISTANT FUTURE. OR MAYBE SOONER. IDK. BUT IT IS KIND OF FUNNY. NOW I ONLY NEED TO FIND THE DAMN NOTEBOOK I STARTED WRITING IN! LOL! MAYBE I WOULDN'T FEAR THE ZOMBIES- I'LL DATE ONE!!!! LMFAO!!!

I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go; things go wrong so that you can appreciate them when they're right. You believe less so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.~~Marilyn Monroe

Live out your imagination, not your history.

We're only as sick as the secrets we keep.

If you're quiet, you're not living. You've got to be noisy and colorful and lively.

Everyone is entitled to do stupid things, but some people abuse the priveledge.

Men marry because they are tired. Women because they are curious. Both are dissappointed.

Sex is good, but not as good as fresh sweet corn.

Typhoon rips through cemetary. Hundreds dead.

Courage is being scared to death and going for it anyways.

Temper is the one thing you can't get rid of by losing it.

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.

It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.

My one regret in life is that I'm not someone else.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some of us just don't have any film.

It won't matter 10 years from now.

If who I am is what I have and what I have is lost, then who am I?

The truth that makes men free, is for the most part of the truth that me prefer not to hear.

Nothing but the heart can change the heart.

Whatever women do, they must do it twice as well as men. Luckily this is not difficult.

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

after almost 5 months of not working i will return back. working 12 hour shifts and overnight. argh. it's a job nonetheless and hopefully it goes well. after i get done with the temp part i'm hopin i can get switched to days and maybe to the weekdays. weekends are fine, and honestly since i haven't worked this has been the only weekends i've had off. i'm gonna be anxious and nervous all day- i need to sleep- don't know when i'm gonna do that because matt is moving out today. no comment on that one. so busy busy, got orientation and a drug test at 2 so much fun there. wish me luck.

i am in the middle of planning my zombie emergency plan. this guy i met has convinced me that i need one. when i get it, i'll put it up.

If there are one or more people on your friends list who make your world a better place just because they exist, and who you would not have met (in real life or not) without the Internet, then post this same sentence in your journal.

This evening my mom surprised me with some M&M's! They had pics of me and my man and our son on them!! SOOOOOO cute!! It's the nicest thing she has done for me in a long time! I can't wait to show them to Matt! I hope he likes them as much as I do!

***I do own this!!***



It was the summer of 1964. Jack and Margaret Logan were expecting their first child. On July 31st they welcomed Adelinde Marciella.

At a young age Adelinde showed a love of the arts. When she was two, she could hum along to Handel and Mozart. She could also color inside the line of a coloring book.

Her father, Jack, was a professor at the local university. One day he brought Adelinde to school with him. While talking with his colleague Dr. George Martin, Martin observed Adelinde coloring and humming one of Vivaldi's operas.

"Jack how old is your daughter?"
"Almost three. Why do you ask?"
"Well have you ever thought of enrolling her in some kind of music classes or something? And where in hell did she learn to sing like that?"
"I don't know. It's like she was born with talent."

Throughout the years Adelinde studied art and music until she was 15. Her father took a job in the states in some little po-dunk town in Missouri.

She was enrolled in regular classes and met some interesting people. Her friends weren't the kind that you would want to take home. Since the move, Lindy, as she wanted to be called now, had started rebelling. Her grades and artistic talents did not suffer as she was completely blessed with smarts, but Lindy and her friends had started dabbling in drugs.

It started small, but worked its way up to acid. Everyone seemed to like that trip the best. By the time they were supposed to graduate, Lindy was the only one that got there and not only that, she was the valedictorian. Can you imagine a strung out valedictorian?

Lindy and two of her friends decided to get out of dodge and went to New York. It was the summer of 1982. Lindy's parents thought she was going to go to school there. They made the living arrangements and said good bye.

Since Lindy still loved art, she decided to get a job at a little museum called The Art Abbey. In 1992, she was given the opportunity to take over as curator. Lindy was still dipping in acid with her two friends. She was very surprised that they hadn't overdosed yet, but at least she had someone to get trippy with.

For an early birthday present, she went to The National Gallery of Canada. One of her favorite artists was in the showcase. On November 12th, 1999, she would meet a man that would change her life completely.

Insert "diary entry"

When she returned back to New York, she played with selling the museum. Finally she found a buyer that would keep the museum’s new hours and not change a whole lot of things. Lindy wanted the museum to stay as she remembered it. The buyer was Randy of all people.

Lindy kept feeling a strong pull to Denver. She put off going for several years. Who did she know? No one, or so she thought...